The Importance of Being Celibate
by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: Somehow all six Winx Girls got pregnant at the exact same time. Now if I were younger and inexperienced this would be a really long drawn out story. But sadly I'm not younger and I just had my second child. So instead you're getting a parody
1. Chapter 1

**The Importance of Being Celibate**

**A Pregnancy parody by Chibi Horsewoman**

** Summary: Somehow all six Winx Girls got pregnant at the exact same time. Now if I were younger and inexperienced this would be a really long drawn out story. But sadly I'm not younger and I just had my second child. So instead you're getting a parody of pregnancy fics on this site. Just read and see how each girl handles their situations.**

** Dedication: My reviewers, my beta reader and anyone who can take a joke.**

** Disclaimer: "I'm taking every kind of pill I can find. Hell I'd take birth control pills if I could get my hands on some." - Peewee Gates Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Meyers**

**Chapter One: Side Affects Include Mood Swings**

It was a typical morning after a typical night out with our usual suspects from Alfea AKA the Winx Club and their merry band of specialists.Each Winx girl had gone off with her guy after a party at Red Fountain to do what some people do best. And no it wasn't play chess. They were now returning less than bright eyed and bushy tailed to Alfea.

"Remind me never to do whiskey shots with Timmy again." Tecna groaned sheepishly as she and Musa climbed the stairs to their dorms to prepare for class. "It leads to other activities."

Musa quirked one arched navy colored eyebrow, but said nothing. She didn't want to ponder what else Tecna and Timmy had done last night. She'd done enough of that with Riven and didn't want to ponder on anyone else doing the nasty.

"I'll make a note of that." Musa promised as they entered their room and quickly used some magic spells to prevent the walk of shame before going to the classes they were supposed to help teach.

"Come on now darlings." Stella called in a voice that could shatter glass. "We mustn't be late for classes eh?"

Musa saw Tecna visibly wince at their blonde friend's chipper tone. The trio silently made their way to their respective classrooms, the quiet only broken by Stella's incessant jabber.

_A little over a month later_

"Does anyone else feel like they've been run over by a troll?" Bloom asked as she made her way into the bathroom the six girls all shared. She addressed the question to all of them.

"No, but I do have the strangest craving for a bacon cheeseburger with onion rings." Flora stated even though it wasn't even seven in the morning. "I think I'll get one for breakfast."

She then began to rummage through the various cupboards and drawers knowing that Stella hid chocolates from Brandon in the bathroom. "I can't believe how hungry I am! I need food!"

"Oh please don't mention food." Tecna groaned as she made her way to the toilet.

"Make her stop, she's been at that all night." Musa griped as she watched her magenta haired roommate make yet another deposit at the porcelain bank. "Gods I don't even know how she has anything left to throw up."

"Sweeties does anyone have any antacids?" Stella asked as she entered the fray. "My stomach's been so upset lately and I can't even perform a simple spell to calm it down."

"Oh I hope it's some bug going around because I've been feeling queasy too." Layla chimed in.

"Wait a minute!" Bloom exclaimed causing Tecna to look up from her place at the toilet and Flora to stop searching for Stella's not so secret chocolate stash in the bathroom linen closet.

"Wait for what Bloom?" Musa asked grabbing the bottle of antacids from Stella and taking two for herself.

"It all makes sense. I've got a head ache, Flora's hungry and moody all the time."

"Hey! I am _not_ moody!" Flora protested having found a bag of pretzels.

"Ahem." Bloom coughed upset at being interrupted. "Tecna, Layla, and Musa are either queasy or vomiting."

"We all have a stomach bug." Layla argued gesturing to herself, Tecna and Musa.

"Or we're pregnant." Musa suggested.

The silence was so extensive all that was missing was the crickets, and then all Hell broke loose.

"My father's gonna kill me!" Musa nearly sobbed. "He's gonna take a vacation from his furniture store (1) just to kill me, then he'll make a footstool out of Riven."

"Well it's not like mine's all that fond of Timmy either." (2) Tecna commiserated as she hoisted herself up from her spot in front of the toilet. "Do we have any mouthwash?"

"Forget what your dads will say, what about the guys?" Bloom asked sounding worried.

"What do you care?" Flora retorted, glaring daggers at her friend. "You and Sky are engaged and he's such a damn do gooder he'll probably try to have the baby for you.

Layla and Nabu are engaged. Hell even Stella and Brandon are informally engaged. But Riven, Timmy and Helia have no obligations."

"That doesn't mean they won't stick around." Layla reasoned, knowing that even though saying her parents would be pissed off at her would be like saying that World War Two was a slight disagreement between a few countries. It wouldn't matter to them that she was pregnant by the guy they'd betrothed her to.

"Maybe we should tell them?" She added as a quiet suggestion.

"Oh Hell no!" Stella shouted. "I'm not about to tell Brandon that I'm going to be all fat and bloated!"

"It's called being pregnant." Musa said with a tone of anguish in her voice.

"You know, maybe before we all jump to conclusions we should buy some pregnancy tests." Tecna suggested logically.

"That's a great idea!" Bloom exclaimed hugging her magenta haired friend then immediately recoiling from the unholy combination of vomit and antiseptic mouthwash on Tecna's breath.

"Yeah, then we can all be extremely depressed when we all get pink plus signs." Flora groaned.

"Oh cheer up." Stella scolded as she rummaged through the drawers in the sink for some bronzer to brighten up her swallow complexion. "I think the pregnancy tests are a great idea. We can run out and get them during lunch and take them here."

"Yeah and we all have the day off after that." Tecna gushed.

"Before we do lunch though, there's the issue of getting through the morning." Layla pointed out.

"No worries here." Bloom stated with a grin.

"Except being tardy." Musa added with a small smile. "And throwing up in class."

**_To the convieniance store!_**

** Well maybe it's not exactly a crackfic, but it will get better. I will say that with most young women after living together their menstrual cycles can get in synch. However it is still unlikely that six girls would all get pregnant at the same time.**

**1.) ****According to the Winx Comics that's what Hoboe (Musa's father) does now on their planet of Melody.**

**2.) ****According to the Winx Comics Tecna's dad isn't fond of Timmy, but he may tolerate him. **


	2. Waiting on Two Pink Lines

**The Importance of Being Celibate**

**A Pregnancy parody by Chibi Horsewoman**

**Warning:**** Due to hormones some characters may be slightly OOC. This is played up for the sake of humour. I'm warning people now so I don't get a review telling me so and so wouldn't act that way. So and so is pregnant and you've no idea how she might act.**

**Dedication:**** My reviewers, my beta reader and anyone who can take a joke.**

**Disclaimer:**** The cast and characters of Winx Club belong to their respective owners. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and am not making money off of it.**

**Chapter Two: Waiting on Two Pink Lines**

As soon as the lunch bell rang, the Winx girls were on their way to the shuttle for Magix before anyone could try to stop them. Of course in order _to _stop them they would first have to identify the six girls as the famous Winx Club. Tecna had put off throwing up long enough to remind her quintet of friends that they were rather well known in Magix, so disguises were quickly adorned so no one would find out that the entire Winx Club didn't use birth control and may have gotten knocked up.

It only took twenty minutes to get to the center of town, find a pharmacy and grab three different kinds of tests- three for each girl that is- in case one gave an unwanted result. Then catch another shuttle and get back to Alfea. Yes it may have only taken twenty minutes, but for the Winx girls it felt like a lifetime.

"Can you hurry up already?" Flora demanded after Bloom had shoved past her into the washroom to take her first test.

"You can use our bathroom," Musa offered, "Tecna and I already finished the first brands we bought."

"And we labeled them too." Tecna added as Flora nearly ran her over in her rush to get to the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes and two out of the three brands of pregnancy tests later (Not to mention quite a few liters of water) the six girls were no closer to having the answers they wanted.

"A _smiley face_?!" Stella sobbed in disbelief, "Why do they have a _smiley face_ for a _positive test result_?"

"Maybe because _some_ people would be happy to find out they got knocked up?" Tecna offered in disgust as she threw her second positive test result in the trash. "Ugh! If I never have to pee on another stick again it will be too soon."

"You still have one more to go Tecna." Layla reminded the magenta haired fairy with a slight smirk.

"Oh why bother? If the first two tested positive, it's not like the last one will make a difference." Flora griped.

"Besides, I just took my last one and this is what I got." The brunette fairy held up her last dip stick to reveal two pink lines in the upper window.

"That's it, we're done for." Musa sighed. "I hope Riven doesn't mind becoming a nice addition to someone's décor."

"You mean you're going to _tell him_?" Bloom gasped in horror. "I'm _not _telling Sky! No way!"

"Then you can continue the fine tradition of deceit on which your relationship is built on." Musa returned in a snarky tone before taking one of the ginger gummies the group had picked up at the pharmacy.

"And I thought Flora had turned into the bitchy one." Layla observed earning herself a death glare from Flora.

"My relationship with Sky is _not_ built on deceit!" Bloom snapped. "And even if it is at least we talk unlike _some_ people."

"Riven and I talk too ya know." Musa shot back.

"Darling, breaking up every three weeks does _not_ constitute talking." Stella retorted taking Bloom's side.

"Oh what do you know? Brandon lied to you too!"

Stella turned a pretty shade of tomato red at that fact. "Yeah, maybe I'll hold off telling him too."

"I don't care what either of you do. I just believe Riven should be told, if only for his own safety."

"I'm with Musa," Layla added, "I don't think the guys would like being lied to any more than we would."

"Screw that, I'm heading back to Gardenia." Bloom stated as if that would be a shock to anyone other than Layla who just stared at the other four waiting for an explanation. Tecna willingly offered it.

"You know the saying that when the going gets tough the tough get going?" She asked with a grin.

"Yeah." Layla answered, curiosity fully piqued.

"Well when things get too hard for Bloom, Bloom high tails it for Gardenia."

The others shared a brief laugh at Bloom's expense. Bloom just began to pack her suitcase in sulky silence.

"Hey Bloom, can you at least do us a favour and tell Faraganda you're leaving this time? And tell her we tried to stop you." Flora asked as the red head made her way for the main exit.

"Why's that?" Bloom asked curiously.

"Because this time we don't want to catch the heat for your bad decision making like we did when you ran off during our first year, right before the Trix took over." Tecna explained, playing with her mobile phone. (1)

"That's not very nice you guys." Bloom pouted.

"Nice or not it's the truth." Musa defended. "You're the princess of Domino for the love of the Great Dragon! And princesses can't just run off when they get faced with problems. And it wasn't fair that we were blamed the last time."

"Okay, but if I have to tell Faraganda why I'm leaving then I'm taking the rest of you down with me."

"You do, and after you have that baby I'll use you in a potion." Flora snarled.

Bloom immediately backed down then backed out of the doorway and sped down the hall. She didn't want to take her chances with the new pregnant hormonal Flora.

"I think I'll stay out of the way of pregnant Flora." Tecna whispered to Layla who nodded her agreement.

"Either that or just give her whatever she wants." Stella added.

"Well, Bloom's made her decision. What about the rest of us?" Musa asked.

The other remaining Winx just looked bewildered.

"_**Goin' into battle. 'Bout to pitch a fit**_

_**Lord if you listenin' get me out this shit"**_

_**-Peewee Gates- Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Meyers**_

**Yay! I finally decided to update after almost two years. I'm sorry for the wait, but babies take priority over updating fan fiction. Thanks for your patience.**

**In all honesty the worry that the Winx were feeling in this chapter is based on how I was feeling over the summer when I found out I was pregnant again. But I was more worried about telling my mom, my now husband was actually hoping he'd gotten me pregnant. It turned out alright in the end though.**

**This is true from both versions. In the first season of Winx Club Ms Faraganda blamed the other Winx for letting Bloom run off to Gardenia and not stopping her. Never mind that Bloom never bothered to tell them she was leaving.**


	3. Musa's Confession

**The Importance of Being Celibate**

**A Pregnancy Parody by Chibi Horsewoman**

**Note:**** As stated under the title, this is **_**parody**_**. There is some truth in all fiction, but for the most part I wrote this for fun and laughs. If humour, pregnancy, or Winx Club fan fictions in general bother you, then please go find something else to amuse yourselves with. This story is parody, it requires a sense of humour and imagination, and this is your **_**only**_** warning.**

**Dedication:**** My reviewers, my beta reader and anyone who can take a joke.**

**Disclaimer:**** The cast and characters of Winx Club belong to their respective owners. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and am not making money off of it.**

**Chapter Three: Musa's Confession**

After Bloom's less-than-surprising departure, the remaining members of the Winx Club continued to discuss their options now that they were officially knocked up. Would it be better to run off like Bloom had, leaving Sky in the lurch yet again, him not knowing that the heir to the thrones of Domino and Eraklyon was forming in Bloom's body? Or should they stay there and tell their boyfriends they were going to be daddies?

"Come on girls!" Tecna argued, as Stella continued to campaign for ditching the babies' daddies and running off to Gardenia with Bloom. "We've faced down the Trix, Lord Darkar, The Trix, Valtor, Mandragora, The Trix, and the Wizards of the Black Circle." The teal eyed techno-fairy paused to take a drink of ginger tea to calm her rolling stomach, and resumed her speech.

"Statistically we'll probably face the Trix again along with whatever villain they align themselves with by the time Roxy starts here. I think we can manage to tell our boyfriends that we are such freaks of nature we all managed to get pregnant on the same night at the same time."

"I agree with Tecna." Musa stated suddenly, "Besides, if these guys can't take accidental pregnancies, then maybe we shouldn't be with them."

"If you're so confident, Musa, then why don't you call Riven and tell him the great news?" Stella taunted from her place on the floor."I can't wait to see how that turns out."

Flora picked up a pillow from Musa's bed and threw it at the blonde girl, something she never would have done if she hadn't been pregnant, nailing Stella square in the face. "Stella, shut up. You don't have to be a bitch about everything."

The eyes of every other girl nearly shot out of their heads. As bad as she was now, no one wanted to contemplate arguing with a very hormonal Flora, let alone how she'd be eight months down the road.

Musa smiled radiantly at Flora, grateful for her friend's quick defense. "I guess I'll call Riven now and tell him to meet me somewhere."

"Why don't we all call our boyfriends?" Layla asked curiously.

Stella yawned, looked warily at Flora and then commented, "Those of you who are going to tell your significant others what happened last month, be my guest. I don't want Brandon to know I'm going to be the size of a ship in six months."

"Stella, statistically speaking, with our figures we will be showing at around five months." Tecna interrupted.

"Whatever," the blonde replied waving her hand at her friend. "I still have to contact the royal seamstress back on Solaria. After she can find a way to hide my belly, then I'll tell Brandon."

The other four Winx girls did a collective face palm. Finally it was decided that Musa, Tecna and Layla would tell Riven, Timmy and Nabu respectively, while Flora was on the fence. The new pregnancy hormones had turned her from a calm, sweet, loving person to a raging bitch who shot throw pillows and other room décor at her friends when she wasn't trying to eat everything. However it hadn't made her less timid when it came to confessing to her boyfriend of two years that they were going to be a family. Flora had to make a game plan on how to break the new.; Hopefully her friends would be able to give her some blueprints after they were done.

"So, how do we decide who goes first?" Tecna asked after the decision had been reached.

"Maybe a friendly game of rock, paper, scissors?" Layla suggested hopefully.

"While you two figure that out, I'm going to call Riven before I lose my nerve." Musa told her friends as she pulled out her phone and hit the button for Riven's phone, it rang twice before he picked up.

"Hey, Muse, what's up?" Riven asked casually, not knowing that on the other end of the line, his girlfriend's stomach was pitching around like a rollercoaster.

"Not much Riven, but I need to talk to you about something important. Can you meet me at the main park downtown?"

Riven hesitated for a moment, he'd had plans already with some of the guys, but Musa sounded almost desperate so he figured he could cancel. "Sure, I'll see you in twenty minutes."

Musa hung up the phone, feeling only slightly relieved, "Well, wish me luck." She called to her friends as she exited the room.

Twenty minutes and not one second later Musa and Riven were sitting on a secluded park bench watching children run around on the playground. Riven kept stealing glances at his girlfriend who was not acting her usual controlled self. She also had a slight green tinge to her face.

"Say Riven," Musa began cautiously. "Do you ever think of doing that?" She pointed at a father pushing his daughter on one of the infant swings.

"No, because I don't think my bum would fit in those swings." Riven replied, completely missing the point of the question. "Why?"

Musa swallowed hard, fighting down the plain macaroni Flora had forced her to eat before she left Alfea. " Because, well, oh how do I put this. Say that we had sex and…."

"Musa, we _have_ had sex, quite a few times and nothing has happened yet."

"_That's_ what you think." Musa retorted smartly. "The girls and I all took tests today and they all came back positive."

"And Bloom hightailed it for Gardenia again?" Riven asked, again missing the point, but now it was intentional. He wanted to make sure he'd heard right.

"Yes, but that's beside the point. Riven, I'm pregnant and you're going to be a dad."

Riven was silent, this worried Musa who began to wonder if maybe she should have followed Bloom's lead and just run off somewhere. She'd heard Gardenia was nice this time of year. Hearing nothing but silence from her boyfriend for five minutes, Musa chanced a look at Riven only to see that he had a ridiculous smile plastered on his face.

"I'm going to be a daddy!" Riven finally exclaimed, grabbing a hold of Musa and swinging her around a few times.

Musa was dumbstruck; she had imagined that maybe Riven would give her a quick hug at best. At worst, throw a fit, accuse her of cheating on him and leave. In all of her wildest dreams she'd never imagined he'd start dancing around the most popular park in Magix, going up to random strangers and announcing that he was going to be a dad. Now Musa could only hope that her dad would take the news as well as Riven.

**AN: Yes okay, so maybe in some people's minds Riven was more than a little OOC. However in my head canon and in the head canon of some others people do imagine that Riven would be thrilled that he was going to be a dad. Hence why he's grinning and acting like an idiot. He never had a family of his own and now he can have one. **

**Thanks for waiting for me to update, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Importance of Being Celibate**

**A Pregnancy parody by Chibi Horsewoman**

**Dedication:**** My grandma who passed away on the 26****th**** of January 2013. She always had a very good sense of humour. **

**Disclaimer:**** The cast and characters of Winx Club belong to their respective owners. I also do not own Monopoly, Uno or Sea Bands. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and am not making money off of it.**

**Chapter Four: Timmy's Once Upon a Mattress**

Back at Alfea the contests between Layla and Tecna could have gone on for hours, days, millennia even. However after exhausting fifteen rounds of rock, paper, scissors, a game of Monopoly where Layla found out that Tecna was intentionally fudging the money in the bank and three games of Uno, Tecna had finally admitted defeat and called Timmy. They agreed to meet at a café they'd both frequented called the Rose and Caldron so Tecna could tell him something very important.

Before Timmy had left Red Fountain for Magix, Riven had returned wearing a goofy look on his face and gave him a hug so jarring that the carrot-haired specialist feared he'd cracked a rib or three. Not taking the time to ask Riven why he was so uncharacteristically perky, Timmy hurried for his levabike so he could meet Tecna on time.

So now there they were, staring at each other over the table while Tecna methodically chewed saltine crackers, biting off the edges first then rounding them off. Timmy noticed that Tecna was wearing what appeared to be lime green sweat bands with a plastic ball on her wrists near the pressure points. If those wrist bands were what Timmy thought they were, they didn't seem to be doing a very good job. Tecna's face had a slightly green tinge to it and she had only ordered the house chicken soup for dinner, which was unusual for her.

"Tecna, is everything okay?" Timmy asked after watching his girlfriend listlessly stir her soup and take a tentative sip. "You don't seem like you're feeling very well."

Tecna dropped her spoon into her bowl with a clink and looked Timmy in the eyes. "Honestly Timmy, I'm not feeling well at all." Tecna sighed. "Don't worry though, I'm not contagious. In fact it's not even anything to do with viruses or bacteria."

"Then what is it?" Timmy wondered, sounding concerned, "Are you not getting enough sleep?"

Tecna thought blissfully of the two-hour nap she'd taken after that last game of Uno she'd lost to Layla. "Oh no, I'm getting plenty of sleep. But Timmy, do you remember that night just over a month ago when we had that little get together with the rest of the group?"

Now it was Timmy's turn to think blissful thoughts, the carrot-haired specialist clearly remembered a romantic evening six weeks prior when he and Tecna had made love most of the night.

"Yes," Timmy finally replied with a smile on his face. "Yes I do."

"Well, thanks to that night and us both being irresponsible, I'm pregnant."

Timmy fainted dead away into his mashed potatoes and had to be fished out by a passing waiter. When he came to and emerged from the white gloppy mess, chunks of potato had chosen to reside between his red-framed glasses and his face.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry." Tecna apologized quietly as she watched her boyfriend clean his side dish off of his face with a cloth napkin. "I should have waited until after dinner."

Timmy waved away Tecna's apology. Yes of course finding out that you're going to be a dad when you haven't quite figured out what to do when you left school (aside from fix computers on Earth) was a shock. But Timmy admired Tecna telling him the truth instead of running off somewhere, and he planned to stick it out. Then he had a thought.

"Are the other girls pregnant too?"

Tecna's face matched her hair perfectly for a brief moment. "Yes, all six of us."

"So _that_ explains Riven's demeanor when he arrived back from his date with Musa." Timmy mused, seeing Tecna's worried look he smiled

"Oh, Riven looked like he was about to wet himself with joy. I wonder what the statistics of that happening are."

"Riven wetting himself?" Tecna asked perplexed.

Timmy laughed. "No, all six of you girls getting pregnant at once."

The teal eyed fairy rolled her eyes. "Well, if you read some fan fiction, you'd imagine it was as common as watching the five o'clock news at five o'clock."

Timmy laughed again, then after holding Tecna's hand and finding it clammy, he suggested they call it a night and helped her on to the shuttle for Alfea.

**AN: Holy crap I updated again! I know, I know, the sky is probably falling somewhere right? Anyways, thanks for the kind reviews, all twelve of them. I really appreciated it, more than some of you will know. As for Sea Bands, those things never worked for me when I was pregnant and I was thinking of giving Tecna what I had when I got pregnant so prepare for '**_**la fata della tecnologia'**_** to hate anything ginger (excluding Timmy) by her fourth month.**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Importance of Being Celibate**

**A Pregnancy parody by Chibi Horsewoman**

**Dedication:**** My reviewers. I keep losing count of how many I get per chapter and who I replied to! Who knows, this might lead to more updates. **

**Disclaimer:**** The cast and characters of Winx Club belong to their respective owners. I also don't own any of the brands of food I mention nor do I own Jerry Springer, Ellen, or Dr Phil. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and am not making money off of it.**

**Chapter Five: Giving Bloom the Responsibility Talk**

Back in Gardenia, while Layla and Tecna had been playing their games to see who would tell their boyfriend first and Musa was breaking the news to Riven, Bloom was sitting around her adoptive parent's home watching daytime talk shows and eating mini Chips Ahoy cookies, washing them down with strawberry milk. The red-haired princess of Domino had spent the past two days in her favourite footie pajamas watching as random people on Jerry Springer tried to beat each other up for 'sleeping with their men.' It seemed to Bloom that these people should know more about whom they were dating before they slept with them.

That afternoon Bloom was intently watching the end of the Dr Phil show, where yet another cow of a mother-in-law hated her daughter-in-law simply because the daughter-in-law wasn't the woman she had wanted her son to marry. Bloom could definitely relate to that poor daughter in law. Samara, Sky's mom, didn't like her either. Neither did Erendor, Sky's dad, for that matter. They both seemed to like Princess Diaspro better. Bloom wouldn't have been surprised if in the near future someone tried to reintroduce the two of them and they hit it off.

"No one loves me!" Bloom suddenly wailed into her old baby blanket, startling Kiko and causing the poor rabbit to knock over the box of cookies. The sound of Bloom's wailing drowned out any advice Dr. Phil was about to offer, and caused Vanessa to rush in with Miriam right behind her.

Upon seeing both of her mothers standing in front of her, Bloom was decidedly more startled than either woman.

"What are you doing here?" Bloom demanded finishing her hormone-induced pity party with a quick nose blow.

"I live here, Bloom." Vanessa stated as she stared down her adopted daughter.

"Not _you._ Her!" The red haired heir of Domino pointed a cookie at Miriam, her biological mother. Bloom wasn't thrilled to see her biological mother at that moment as Miriam was much harder on her than Vanessa was. She didn't want to know why the queen of Domino had traveled to Earth and was dressed in an emerald green pantsuit with her red gold hair out of its formal court hairstyle. In fact at the moment, Bloom was wishing she'd never found her birth parents in Obsidian because she was certain that Miriam would scold her when she told her and Vanessa what had happened back in Magix.

"Well Bloom, I'm here because Vanessa called to let me know you had run off again." Miriam began in a calm tone. "I've been told that it's almost standard for you. I don't believe I need to remind you that these actions are extremely unbecoming of a princess and future queen."

Bloom hid under the crocheted afghan on the sofa and looked even less queenly. She heard Vanessa sigh loudly and buried herself even deeper. Vanessa stepped forward and yanked the afghan off of Bloom.

"Now listen Bloom," Vanessa began in an impatient tone of voice, more than enough to convey to Bloom that her stay at chez Peters was wearing thin, "your dad and I were okay when you came home during your first year of Alfea because of what had happened between you and Sky.

When you came home your third year because Valtor may have been trying to attack Alfea because of you, your dad and I were a little put off because we figured at eighteen you should be able to face some problems head on, but we wanted you to be safe. Although we didn't like hearing that you had run off without telling your friends, _again_."

Vanessa paused and looked at Bloom to see if any of what she was saying was sinking through. Bloom had a tissue to her nose and was trying not to cry, however Vanessa decided to push on.

"However this time when you dropped in unannounced with five suitcases in tow and asking us to screen calls from Sky, your father and I decided that enough is enough. You are _twenty_ years old Bloom, you _need_ to grow up and stop running away! However, we are glad that at least this time you informed your friends."

Miriam nodded in agreement. "So, what happened this time Bloom?"

Bloom looked from Vanessa to Miriam. Both woman sat next to each other on the other couch in the living room. The fairy of the Dragon Flame didn't know if it was hormones or pent up emotions that made her tear up again.

"I got pregnant." Bloom finally stated as she blew her nose. "All the girls and I somehow got pregnant at the same time and I got scared and ran away and I didn't tell Sky."

For a moment no one spoke, the silence was deafening. Both Vanessa and Miriam wore shocked expressions on their faces, and Bloom was glad they were sitting. Even Kiko looked as though he was about to faint from the news.

"Is it Andy's?" Vanessa finally asked, she remembered that when Bloom and her friends had been in Gardenia a while back and they'd all gotten really close with Bloom's ex-boyfriend Andy. That would explain wanting to screen calls from Sky.

Miriam and Bloom's faces rivaled their hair. Bloom was mortified.

"No mother, it's Sky's baby." Bloom spat out.

'Then, you won't have any trouble calling your fiancé and telling him the news." Miriam stated declaring that decision finalized.

You will also take yourself back to Alfea and resume doing whatever it is you girls do there. Why in the name of the Great Dragon don't you move on now? You tried teaching and obviously you girls couldn't handle that."

Bloom felt her face redden, but said nothing to contradict her biological mother. Miriam could be loving and she _had_ missed Bloom a great deal when she'd been sealed away, however as the co-ruler of Domino, Miriam was unrelenting in facing responsibilities and problems head on. She expected her remaining daughter and heir to do the same.

"Bloom, darling, why don't you call Sky while I make Miriam and myself a pot of tea, hmm?" Vanessa asked, saving Bloom from any more of her birth mother's rants. "If you can't tell him the whole story over the phone, just make sure you do it in person when you get back, okay?"

"Yes mom, I will." Bloom replied gratefully, she hesitantly picked up her phone as her two moms headed into the kitchen. Then she set it down again, what would Sky's reaction be to this news? Would he forget any of this had happened in a few months?

Hopping up on the couch, Kiko gave his owner a nudge with his nose as if to encourage her. Bloom smiled, it would all work out somehow. Even if Sky suddenly managed to get amnesia or was placed under another hundred year sleep spell, at least she'd have her friends to help her out.

"Thanks Kiko," Bloom told her bunny, patting him on the head. She dialed Sky's number only to have it go straight to voice mail.

"Hey, this is Prince Sky. I can't get to my phone right now because I'm in the middle of something important. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. Oh, and if this is Bloom, where in the name of the Great Dragon are you?"

Bloom swallowed hard and waited for the beep. "Hey Sky, this is Bloom. I went back to Gardenia with my adoptive parents because I had a stomach bug. Or at least I thought I had a stomach bug. I'll explain when I get back to Magix tomorrow afternoon."

After leaving that message, Bloom surveyed the living room. Coming across her reflection in a mirror she blanched. Stomach bug indeed, she had cookie crumbs everywhere and sported a milk mustache. Thank the Great Dragon she'd told Sky she'd meet him tomorrow, it would take at least twenty-four hours to make herself presentable again.

Twenty minutes and a change of clothes later, Bloom was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea with her moms again. All of her suitcases were at the back door as Miriam was taking Bloom back to the magic dimension as soon as tea time was over.

"Bloom, I know that I may have seen a bit harsh." Miriam said suddenly, "but when you're queen, you'll realize that you can't ever run away from a problem no matter how big it is."

Vanessa nodded. "She's right dear. You need to smarten up, stop being so impulsive and start thinking before you act because now it's not only about you, it's about your baby as well."

Bloom couldn't speak, she was too busy sobbing. 'Damn those hormones' she thought as her moms sandwiched her into a group hug.

**Whew, finally. I'm sorry that this took so long, but Bloom is my least favourite character and while this is a parody story and I was glad to finally hand her ass to her, I also wanted to convey some emotions which I did in my other two chapters with the other couples. Thanks for being so patient and thanks again for all your reviews. I never expected to get so many for a story that is basically off the top of my head. I think Flora will be next, simply because I don't care for Helia and I need to get them out of the way.**


	6. Flora's Hormonal Misshaps

**The Importance of Being Celibate**

**A Pregnancy Parody by Chibi Horsewoman**

**Note:**** Sorry for any updating delays. My husband and I are down to one computer and he gets priority over me because he actually **_**needs**_** it for work. Thank you for your patience.**

**Dedication:**** My reviewers. I keep losing count of how many I get per chapter and who I replied to! Thank you all very much!**

**Disclaimer:**** The cast and characters of Winx Club belong to their respective owners. However I am quite sure I am solely responsible for Flora's mood swings and sudden love of bacon. I also don't own Gears of War. My husband does, but I don't. I do own The Mad Cow as it's appeared in a few fanfics. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and am not making money off of it. **

**Chapter Six: Flora's Hormonal Mishaps**

The day after Tecna and Musa had told their boyfriends, Flora and Layla were still on the fence and Stella was on the phone with the Royal Seamstress of Solaria. Stella of course hadn't told Brandon yet; she was waiting for her wardrobe to be finished. A girl had to have priorities, she kept telling Flora and Layla.

Layla was lying in bed, still fired up from beating Tecna at every family friendly game they'd played. Flora was considering going down to the cafeteria to get a bacon and onion ring sandwich when she remembered that she still had to tell Helia. Since the fairy of nature also didn't feel like trying to wage a bet or a war with Layla, she decided that the only way to get this done and over with was to call Helia and have him meet her at her favourite greasy spoon in town- The Mad Cow. Besides, The Mad Cow had better burgers and onion rings than the Alfea cafeteria hands down. Of course, first Flora had to find her phone.

"Has anyone seen my phone?" Flora asked out loud after five minutes of furious searching. She had been crawling around on the floor near her bed, looking under it.

Stella looked up from the fabric scraps she was going over for her new line of maternity clothes; the Royal Seamstress had sent them over via magi-fax. "Have you tried on your night stand?"

"Why, did _you_ put it there?" Flora snarled at Stella. The blonde fairy shuddered and started looking for a place to hide.

"No, you did." Layla replied as she sat up and faced her overly hormonal friend. "We were using our phones to keep time when we took our tests the other day. You left yours on the bed."

Flora reached up onto her bedside table and felt her phone with her finger tips. "Ah, there it is. Sorry 'bout that."

Stella and Layla both groaned. Neither girl knew if she could handle nine more months of Flora's hormonal meltdowns.

Flora quickly dialed Helia's number and he picked up on the fourth ring, right before it went into voice mail.

"Hello?" Helia asked tersely. He had been playing Gears of War Three and he didn't like being interrupted mid-fight.

"Gee, thanks for making me feel loved." Flora snapped, scaring the daylights out of her boyfriend.

Helia was so flustered he nearly dropped the phone. He had never heard his girlfriend sound anything less than calm, sweet and patient in the few short years of their relationship. If she was suddenly snapping at him for taking too long to answer the phone, he'd hate to hear what would happen if he accidentally introduced her to an ex girlfriend as his 'friend'.

"Did you hang up on me now? I can't deal with this Helia!"

The black-haired man swallowed hard, "Flora, sweetie, I am _so_ sorry for not answering the phone when it first rang."

"That's okay! I forgive you." Flora trilled, "Just don't _ever_ let it happen again. Anyway, I need you to meet me at the Mad Cow in forty-five minutes."

"Flora I don't know if I…"

"It's _important_! If you don't meet up with me there, I'll just have to come over to Red Fountain."

Again Helia swallowed hard, Flora sounded so unlike her usual self that he assumed she was under some kind of spell. True, both Riven and Timmy had just found out their girlfriends were pregnant. Yes, Sky had also noticed that Bloom ran off to Earth again and was anxiously awaiting her return. However none of this seemed to have any connection with Flora's sudden one eighty attitude change, at least not in Helia's head. So what if they'd had sex over a month ago, none of this mattered to Helia. Flora was spelled; he was almost one hundred percent certain of it. Of course Helia did know of the Earth saying 'When you assume you make an ass out of you and me' but he didn't quite understand that connection.

"Helia, are you still there?" Flora demanded angrily when her boyfriend had been silent for too long.

"Yes, yes I am." Helia heard himself stutter, "I was just wondering why you wanted to meet at a burger place. I thought you preferred someplace with a salad bar."

"I just want a change of pace; I'll see you at the Mad Cow in forty-five minutes." Flora pressed the disconnect button so hard on her touch screen that it cracked. "Aw crap! Now I have to replace that."

Forty-three minutes later Flora and Helia were sitting in the Mad Cow, Flora was devouring a double bacon cheeseburger with onion rings and Helia was looking at her trying to figure out if there were any signs of a spell.

"Stop staring at me like that!" Flora finally spat as she reached for a napkin and daintily dabbed ketchup and barbeque sauce off her face. "You're making me nervous."

"_I'm_ making _you_ nervous?" Helia asked astonished. "You called me and shouted at me, you've become demanding, and now you are devouring that cheeseburger like it's going to be taken from you at any moment."

Flora took a long sip of her lemonade, "So? What's your point?"

"My point is that you don't seem like yourself at all. I'm worried that you've been spelled."

At her boyfriend's admittedly asinine statement, Flora began to laugh and smack the table with her hand much to the astonishment of Helia and the other patrons in the diner. The fairy of nature laughed so hard that she started to hiccup. Helia came over to pat her on the back and no sooner had he done that Flora turned around and puked right in his lap.

"That's what you get for eating so fast." Helia chided as he dabbed in vain at the vomit. He was struggling not to look disgusted, but failing miserably.

Flora glared at her boyfriend. He wasn't making her situation any easier. "Helia, it's not because I ate so fast." She finally stated.

"The hell it isn't. You know it's not good to gobble your food like that. I doubt you even took the time to chew it properly."

"Helia, I'm pregnant."

The raven haired specialist gasped, and then pinched himself to keep from passing out in Flora's vomit.

"Come again?" Helia asked when his vision had cleared enough for him to focus.

"I said _I'm pregnant_." Flora repeated acidly, not hard given the bile that was rising again in her throat.

"With my baby?"

"Yes, with your baby!" Flora all but shouted.

"Are you sure you're pregnant with my baby?" Helia asked, still dumbstruck. Yes, of course he _knew_ Flora could only be pregnant with his child, he knew she wasn't the kind to go sleep around. However, that question just came out before he could stop himself. And he instantly regretted it in the most painful way possibly.

"Yes! I'm sure that your dumb ass impregnated me!" Flora shrieked as she forcefully kicked Helia in the kneecap and rushing out the door. This left Helia to writhe in pain and endure the cold stares from other diners who knew exactly who the couple was.

Helia sat in silence waiting for the check while hisses of disapproval emanated from the other patrons. The server finally came over to Helia and dropped the check on the table; there was a note in red about how cruel and nasty he was. It disappeared soon after he read it. Drat that magic dimension; even the wait staff knew spells.

Walking to the bus stop, Helia knew he'd have some major apologizing to do and he planned to do it as soon as Flora unblocked his number from his phone.

**Ugh, finally I finished this after over a month, thanks so much for waiting. As I stated in the opening note, my husband and I are down to one computer and he gets first dibs because he uses this one for work.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm going to try and update a few other stories soon.**


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